When I became a thought on God’s mind
He began to comb the Earth, a loving heart to find
He thought of all the beautiful places on Earth to put me
Then He found in you a willing being
And then it began…
A journey fraught with some difficulty here and there
But no matter what came, a smile you’d always wear.
But, like Zion, you didn’t mind the travails
For you knew that by God you’d prevail
And you did.
And still do.

You prevail on your knees when you pray for me.
You prevail on your feet when you rejoice in my victories.
You prevail in a song
Convincing me that your love for me is strong.

Some say you’re just a mother
But in my eyes, you’re a wonder.
Days come, days go.
But I know I’ll always love you so.

This infant child though now grown
Will never be ashamed to be called your own
You were and will always be the one the Father chose for me.
You’re my wonder woman and forever you’ll be.

Amongst women you may not be the first
But I know you’ll always be my best.

The Mentor who
Observes keenly
Teaches patiently
Helps joyfully
Exalts me in prayer tirelessly and
Rejoices in my victories unashamedly.

Now and always
Over and above any other,
You’ll always be my first love.

Happy Mother’s Day to you, dear Mothers. We love and celebrate you always. Especially today!


I’m thinking of Orseer this morning and so many things that he was. How he used to sing and when I try to join him, he’ll give me that face that Erdoo inherited, and I’ll be like, “Can’t you see I’m pregnant (first time) and I want us to sing to our baby.” He’ll be like, “I want to sing, and in fact I’ll love to, sing to her but…” He’d cut himself short on getting the expression on my face.

“But what?!”, I’d shoot back.

“Nothing o!”, he’d say, releasing his guitar and throwing his hands up.

“No o! You must say it today!”, I’d retort, posing over him while he’s seated, with my arms akimbo, and my huge belly in his face.

“Uwuuu! Aondo wama!”, he’d mutter under his breath.

“What’s that supposed to mean?! Why are you calling on God?! Am I disturbing you? Answer me o!”

“No o! How can you disturb me? It’s just that eermmm…”

“Say it o! Just say it.”

“Are you sure you won’t be angry?”

“Just say it first, then we’ll know from there. Remember we’re not supposed to keep secrets.”

“Which kain of scope is that one? This one is not a secret anything. And giving the way you’ve become very troublesome in this last trimester I think I should tell you.”

“Orseer wan Orkuma (Orseer son of Orkuma) tell me now now or else, you know what I can withholdd from you, especially as e be se this baby is due any day now. You know what can happen right?”

“Haba my wife! Kuma nahan ga now! (E no reach like that now!)”

“Oya talk o!”, I’d say snapping my fingers.

“But no vex if I talk o. The thing is you struggle to stay on key, especially when I’m playing. If it’s an acapella I can risk is singing together but even da wan sef, you keep hopping from part to part and going off key every time. I don’t want my child hearing that kind of singing. And it seems being pregnant has made your voice worse”, he’d pause for effect, and getting it, he’d mouth a feeble apology, and make to dodge a smack.

“Orseer!”, I’d say in mock surprise,
“So you have been laughing at me all these years and you never told me! And I never knew you had bad mouth like this. I for no marry you.” With that I’d make to walk away.

“Liar!”, he’d say under his breath.

“What did you say?!”, I’d charge at him mockingly, as he blocks me with his guitar.

“I said I love you!”

“Liar! Whether you like it or not, I can sing and this baby will inherit my vocal skills. Tsk!”

“Not to offend you but I reject it in Jesus name! We can’t have two off-key singers in the family.”

“May God forgive you!”


I remember him this morning because I find that Erdoo inherited his bad mouth and sarcasm while Doo got his vocal skills.
And because it’s an absolutely beautiful thing to be able to great hear the voice of your loved one gone.


If you need any help with information on relocating to Canada, Omobby had all the answers you may need. Please read.


Hi guys! If you are reading this, I must congratulate on being one of the few who wanna take their destinies in their hands. I am positive you will not regret this decision. I would suggest that you do not read this in a hurry. Relax and let me take you on a journey that has the potentials to change your life for good.



You see, I am very passionate about people taking their future in their hands. If you know me to some extent, you will know I am not a patriot for Nigeria and I am not sorry about this. As a matter of fact,  I wear this tag proudly. Do not get me wrong, I love Nigeria, but I would not continue to live in a place if I can not get the best of that place.

The fact…

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It’s Sunday! Yay!!!

This is a good day to touch someone and reach out the hurting.

Don’t let that that pain you’ve been through and come out of go waste.

The purpose of the comfort you’ve received is so you can comfort someone who is hurting.

It is God’s design that the world in its hurting state receives comfort from you and I.

If we allow this ripple spread, then the world will be a better place.

Have a fantastic week ahead!


Ps 107:5-7
[5] Hungry and thirsty, their soul fainted in them. [6] Then they cried unto the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them out of their distresses. [7] And he led them forth by the right way, that they might go to a city of habitation.

Something occurred to me for the first time ever since I’ve been reading this scripture since both my childhoods – physical and spiritual.

There’s always a fork in the road the point when you’re freshly out of a bind or you’ve been bailed out of a very sticky situation.

Sometimes it’s not easily discernible because you’re either in recovery, drained of every once of strength such that your judgement is in need of a lot of help, or just glad to be out of that situation, that you don’t even bother to check which way you should go – you just trot along the first path that jumps at you. And here is when you’re prone to making errors in judgement.
But here’s what I see in this verse that reinforced an eternal truth in my spirit that God is not man and that His attention to us is very keen.

Oftentimes, when man helps you out of your trouble, it’s only a few that go the whole nine yards to get you settled and that’s understandable really. The best of man is still man, after all.

But here’s God. He understands that when you’re out of immediate danger is not the time to leave you yourself. He understands that you’re in need of direction as to what your next move should be. He sees that you’ve come to a crossroad and are prone to mistakes.

So what does he do? He makes provision for counsel and direction and guidance, ensuring that you come to your place of rest. That you get to your destination.

When God rescues you, he brings to pass his perfect plan for your life. I’m reminded of citizens who live in the various IDP camps across the land and it hurts to see that government has absolutely no intention of ensuring that these people have a sense of living, beyond rescuing them and crowding them up in these camps.

But because God is attentive to you, he makes a plan to guide you into your rest. He ensures that you’re not left to yourself. He carefully ensures that you get into your rest, your secure place. He takes you whole nine yards and even all the much more, above and beyond what you can ask or think.

He cares for you. He’s attentive to you. He’s there at that fork in the road.

My Return from Fear

Dear Readers,

I’ve not been here in forever.

Sometimes, I have so much I want to say but I find I’m unable to put the exact construct of my thoughts into words.

Other times I think I’m just so afraid that I wasn’t meant to do this.

Times I’ve seen Facebook memories of links of my blogposts I shared, I feel a tinge of shame at being so afraid to continue.

Today, I came here to paste a copied update and I thought it was disrespectful of me to just appear like nothing happened. So I’m putting this here as an apology to everyone who has ever read a word from here. I’m sorry to have left without a word.

For your belief in my ability to do this, you deserve more than this. I can be better and I commit to doing better.

Thank you for 2016 till date.

Till you hear from me again.

Truly yours…


Some relationships are not just worth it. The stress they give you will take everything from you. I learnt this the hard way, and if only I could go back in time, I’m sure I’d have done things differently. I gave my best. My utmost actually – time, money, dedication. Just name it. God knows I tried. You know how it is when you see the way someone treats others before you and you decide for yourself that you’re bound to be treated as fairly, and you think that’s enough due diligence done, and because you think, “Why not?! Mine cannot be any different.” How wrong I was! September 2016 – May 2018. Twenty months gone down the drain. Or let’s say I washed it all down the drain. I knew it was time to fold up and walk away. Like that old country song about knowing when to hold on, when to fold up and when to walk away and when to run. The relationship was an abusive one out of which I was so slow to drag myself. You know how to hope that things will get better makes you hold on to something that, from all indications, isn’t going to work. That’s exactly how it happened in our case. If you remember, three months or so ago when I came grumbling about how she was treating me, all most of you did was to tell me to chill and get used to it, reminding me of how apparently I was getting better treatment than the one I was buddies with for all my adult life. Only a few people advised me to end it. I only wish I didn’t go with the majority. One instance when the voice of the people definitely wasn’t the voice of God. I quickly forgot that the one everyone ridiculed was calm, friendly, pliant, compliant, and very responsive to all my gestures of love and care. What a fool I was to have listened! Well, what’s done is done. I can either wallow in regret or walk away and never look back. I’ve chosen the latter. I know I looked like I’ve been having the time of my life seeing the pictures and the posts I made about her suggest so. But then, isn’t every farce of a relationship like that? One thing I didn’t realise is that not everything is for everyone. I saw how she was so kind and nice to this particular friend of mine, and so I took the plunge only to land head first. In all fairness to her, this particular friend of mine comes from the deeper end of the gene pool, and so it was easier for her to treat her a whole lot better than she did me. Well, the moral of the story is to learn to take a walk from any relationship that doesn’t do you any good. It’s just not worth the stress. Walk away before you hurt yourself, the person, or even anyone somehow involved in getting you two to know each other. Just like I sometimes want to bite off my friend’s ear. So long, my unruly, uncooperative, unyielding, unbending and most of all ungrowing natural hair. See you never! Wait! What were you thinking this was about? It’s just my hair joor! I’ve given up and relaxed the blasted thing. Funmilayo, my boothang, so long!!!

She’s Always Thinking About My Good.

I was sitting by myself a few days ago, when my five year old walked up to me with one of her a hundred-in-a-day neck hugs and her, “Mommy I love you. You’re the best mommy I could ever have.”, and we had this brief conversation.

She: Mommy thank you for taking care of me and my sister. Don’t worry when I grow up I’ll pay you back.

I honestly wasn’t paying much attention when she was talking at first because I was tired. Don’t look at me like that! You know how children can be. My own in particular can talk your ears off if you let them. But I had to do a quick replay of the last sentence in my mind and I was literally gobsmacked by the suddenness of it and the fact that this was the first time she ever said such a thing.

Me: Jesus! Doo I’m not taking care of you so you can pay me back. I’m doing it because I love you and that’s what I’m supposed to do. Besides, that’s what God expects of me.” A part of my heart was struck with indescribable warmth that such a little girl could be sensitive and think so kindly of me, and that she’s already aware that her mother won’t always be this strong and agile, and that there’ll come a day when I’ll be old, grey and needing the kind of care and comfort I bring them now. Another part of my heart was worried that she felt she needed to pay me back or yield “returns on investment”.

God knows I felt bad that something told her that I’d require her to pay me back for loving her. I was worried for days, until I talked to someone who helped me see how blessed I am to have my little girl tell me that at such a tender age. She helped me understand that it actually came from a place of deep and sincere love, and that she just spoke what scripture said about the fruit of the womb being God’s reward and that I’m blessed to have them in my quiver. So I’ve made it a point of duty to thank my Nadia for thinking so highly of me in such a futuristic light. Sometimes, I think I’m not doing it right but moments like this make me know I’m doing just right in my little way.

P.S: To reinforce what a wonder in kindness and love she is, here’s a ‘charm bracelet’ she made me about ten days ago when I had a bad case of menstrual cramps that had no respect for my parity. She said it would take my pain away. I’ve had it on since then, and I intend to keep it on, at least until the string breaks.

PSS: It didn’t take the cramps away though. 😂😂


​​“Precious ones, a life so loved

That left footprints in my heart, now a treasure to my soul.

May the memories flow with the waters.

I’ll let you go!  I’ll let you go!! I’ll let you go!!!”

If tears could bring you back, then by now I’d have cried a river-full.

If longing to have you right before me counted for much, then I’d never have to miss you.

If only the vow we swore that till death do us part didn’t turn out to just as it meant, then we’d never have had to be apart.

If memories were more than just that, and if they could be relived in the true sense of the word, then most of problems would stand solved. 

If my  many questions all had answers, then I’d certainly have stopped asking by now, and, perhaps, gotten to understand what the Mighty Unseen One is up to.

If smiles, and belly-deep laughters, the kind you usually choke on, and even shed tears from, lasted forever, then I’d never have to miss them with each breaking day.

If persissting in guilt and anger and denial had anything substantial to offer, then I think I certainly would still be in those places without any semblance of sanity enough to write this.

If God wasn’t just, I’d have spent each day contemplating the unfairness of life, and undermining the graciousness of the Father and the strength of his hand upon me. 

If  the size and loftiness of the dreams you had, and the heights to which you aspired, were limiting factors, then you’d be here striving each day to live each of those dreams.

If the Sovereign One ever asked us before doing as he sees fit, then you,d never had to leave as soon as you did.

If every one of us had express permissions to persist on this side of the divide for the length of time it took to live every single dream we have, then a maqn of your sort would live forever.

If heaven were only a stroll away, then we’d see you every waking day.

If a father’s love for his children truly was without such an end, then our daughters would have you right here.  

If time ever did stand still, then it wouldn’t be a long, painful four years already.

Nadia is now six

Erdoo is now four

The burden is lighter

Though the sting is still there, and

The doubts still arise

There are some memories I don’t want to revisit because I hate to face the reality of the fact that comes with doing so.

I’m stronger now. Much stronger

I can say your name and not be mad at you and myself and at God and at life.

It’s said that the day a gone loved one is forgotten is the day his name ceases to be mentioned. How can it be? I say your name when:

I write my full names

When our children have to say their full names.

When I want to scold them or call them out and I yell, “Onovmba Orseer, va nen hen!”

When your dad and I talk about you.

When your mom and I reminisce about your picky eating habits and how much like you Erdoo is in that regard.

When your parents count the number of children they has (you’re never far away from their thoughts. Never)

You might be gone – sometimes it’s still unbelievable – but you’re never forgotten, for to live in the hearts of those you love is to never die.

You know, it’s been four full years but the denial is still so strong sometimes and not even standing at your graveside convinces me. There’s this one person I always have to call again and again to ask if it was really you. And as the good man, and your dear friend, that he is, he’s always patient to reassure me that indeed it was your body that laid buried in that grave.

I thank the Lord for sorting out your big little girl because I tapped out in the fight to give her fitting answers to her questions. Now, she’s the one who tells me things about your passing and how she thinks her Unseen Daddy knew why He had to let you die. I must admit that sometimes she leaves me more confused than comforted. She’s gone ahead of me to tell her sister so much about you and your absence during their ‘gossip’ time, that always leaves me in wonder.

Ordedoo, this is not how we planned it or where we planned to be, but this is how it is and this is where we are. I’m thankful to the Father for being gracious and faithful to us all this time. It could have only been Him. The first taste of warmwood and gall that filled my mouth is slowly fading away and is being replaced by the sweetness of the peace that only Jesus could have given and because I made peace with God and His decision to take you within less than three years of our union. I thank Him for letting me stay even when I wanted to with you, and I’m grateful that my heart didn’t go with you.

Orseer, we miss you, no doubt but I’m assured that things will get better with each passing day. 

Rest on, Ordedoo and sing to your heart’s content. We’ll surely see again at the Master’s feet, where we wouldn’t have to miss you ever again.